UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks for dropping back, Dudess!

I didn't find the visit too hard to deal with ... I was enjoying myself and H appeared to be reasonably relaxed ...

I was riding high but now I feel that I have been pulled back in to line, which is probably a good thing. I regret having sent the email, after reading your words but was doing it to affirm his actions of the day - that's one of his LL's.

I get so confused with this DB ... no wonder I'm not very successful! Do it, don't do it ... do it now, hold off !!!!!

The biggest thing that I learned yesterday was the Cheeseless Tunnel - he TOLD me what it was and now I have to think of a strategy to get around that.

I agree that he probably keeps affirming that he does not love me as he feels that I still hold out hope. Pursuit. I have to stop that but it's so difficult. When he's here, I feel like I have to get everything that I can across to him for I don't know when - or if - he will be back again. It's panic that makes me behave that way.

No, I didn't thank him when he was here so I don't feel guilty of of that one!! I guess that I realised that I had not thanked him at all after he left and that was another motivator for my email.

Now, I must go quiet again. NC until he does - even though I'm sure that this is pull back time as he will have definitely felt that yesterday was an improvement on recent times too.