Well, I thought I had a pretty good positive to post about but after posting on Talitsa's thread I'm telling myself it isn't so positive after all.

In a nutshell:

I asked H tonight if he might possibly be ready for another R talk (I'm paraphrasing to keep this shorter ). I phrased my opening like KAW suggested I do and H didn't SEEM to have a problem with it. He actually said sure . I told him what I would like to discuss during the convo since I didn't want to go into it on the phone. H DID jump in by saying he was happy with our progress and felt great about where we were (para-phrasing again). There were a couple of silences involved...I didn't pursue the convo on the phone but changed the subject instead. The phone call ended in the same up-beat fashion as yesterday's, so no worry's there, right?

I was empathising on Tal's thread (similar sitch) and talking about the whole thing when I felt MY brain wack me upside the head with a 2x4! I am now thinking that I should have just left it alone when he said sure or that I probably would have been better off not bringing it up at all.

My going down this path could quite conceivably be considered "pursuit behaviour" which I know is not any good in my sitch

Yes, I could be second guessing myself on this one and to be honest, I really, truly hope I am I sure as the heck am not going to question H about it to determine if I am or not !

Dang!

I did accomplish some things today

I made a huge pot of chicken stock so I can freeze it. A silly thing probably to think of as an accomplishment but it is something that generally takes me @ 3-4 hours to get it to where I like it. If I'm going to use the stock right away I do it in about 2 hrs. For freezing I like the flavor developed more so I simmer it a lot longer.

I went to my parents' and went to town on their gardens, cutting stuff back for the winter. It has already frosted lightly here a couple of times and was something that needed to be done pretty darn quick. Mom doesn't know a whole lot when it comes to horticulture...I tried to show her what was what and explain what I was doing and why. It didn't seem to be sinking in too well so I have a feeling that I'll probably be over there taking care of her stuff too next year

I have 3 acres of my own and I plan on putting in a half acre veggie garden next year as well as re-doing my flower-beds...I think I am starting to feel SLIGHTLY annoyed

In case no one has guessed...my mother and I have role-reversal issues. We were in C for it when I was younger...the C gave up on us after awhile I'm too dominant and Mom's too passive. I prefer the "daughter" role (that is what I am after all ) but unfortunately my mother does too.

I've even tried to use some DB techniques with her...she thinks I'm mad at her when I do this because I expect her to make her own decisions.

I have tried to be "lovingly distant" to give her time to decide what SHE wants to do. I act "as if" I'm the daughter to give her the opening she should need to take charge of a given situation. I curb my "fixing" nature when she goes down a path that would normally kick this in right away...she will wait and wait and wait then get all upset and pout when I don't "fix" it.

It's amazing how well DB/SBT works with my H and other aspects of my life...be darned if I can figure out how to get it to work with her

I've been rambling a bit tonight

The positives are in this post somewhere so I won't re-list them...Don't want to crash anyone's computer again with a crazy long post!!

Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi