Summer 2009

[Between Tears]

Hi Creed and Snodderly,


Oh, Creed, I fully agree, he is a real "trick", full of revenge, for things only he sees.... or makes up. You know, I still don't know what I did to set him off so, except agree to his desperately needed divorce, which at first, I didn't want (and where was my head then? Scary thought, isn't it?) I didn't reject him, I didn't leave him, he left.... so what did I do that deserves all of his hostility? Now, in an off the wall, and I mean way off the wall, I can almost see how Dick feels S rejected him and his life.... Yet, S doesn't deserve anything that he has been through. The close adults in his life watch him carefully, as we watch him "laugh" it off, while knowing how much pain he has within him. It makes me sick to think how much this man has gotten away with.

Snodderly,

Why the letter? It blows my mind to see this evidence, why not just verbally blast the boy? Dick seems to be leaving clues to his true self all over the place.... is this the grandios belief he can't be caught? Does he truly believe he is above the law? S told me Dick is not answering his calls, a behavior he exibited with me, now S, as I realize it is to avoid any or all confrontations and allow him to have the last word, i.e. control, but at one point, when does this man grow up, and allow S the freedom to speak his mind? Is Dick beginning to unravel? Do "Ns" eventually eventually hit the rocks or do they always believe they are immortal or do they just go into alzheimers with their fantasy life?

I'm just wondering if we will always have to live with our guard up waiting for the next shoe to drop..... and why was he able to let go of his previous family so much earlier than he has with us? Is it because he was able to manipulate the courts?

I am worried about both my kids, although S and I will work through things, with help, but I've been wondering about D, who is not as strong, who internalizes her pain, who is gentically predispositioned for depression and/or bipolar depression. I worry about bringing her out of all that has gone on.

I need to stop worrying about things I have no control over, and believe in the Man upstairs...... I just can't help my mind from wondering.

[job]

"N" personalities never hit bottom. They have to be exposed for who they are because they feel they are above everyone else. He's exhibiting a lot of the signs, i.e., the letters, the actions, etc., because he feels he is above reproach. He's dangerous to all around him.

He let go of them because they didn't fight as hard has you have. If you were to cease the fight for what is right, he would drop you and your family like a hot potato. It's the personality that's running the show.

You have every right to be worried, but there's nothing you can do for you d, but pray that she'll find a way to escape him. He knows that she's the weak link right now and will do everything in his power to control and manipulate her. I would dearly love to know how he's gotten away with what he has for so long. Who is he paying off?

For now, keep the prayers coming. He's unraveling just a little bit and they do make mistakes when they think that are high and mighty. I'm praying that he'll make one mistake too many and have to leave you and the kids alone.

[Between Tears]

Thank you Snodderly,

I don't think he is paying anyone off, although I know he pays his attorney. I believe it is his Attorney... she's quite powerful, knows all the right people, is on the "dirty lawyer" list for how far she will go, and I believe it is she who is protecting her own reputation and herself from the bar.

The reasons I say this: The people who inspected my house, had two reports written, one with the truth, and one with a group of lies about the condition of the house. Had my Attorney not stopped the issue of the one with lies, my house would not have been approved, she was told at that time, Dick's attorney came to visit them after visiting, and told them all about Dick's version of me, therefore felt I deserved a bad review.... My attorney set them straight.

My medical records from my cancer treatment and before are now missing, no longer in the doctors files. The report from when Dick strangled me, no longer at the Sheriff's office nor on their computer files.... the picture that were taken have been missing since 2004, but were on the computer file, and now that files is missing, and anyone who requests that file, is told it is with the Detective, and no one is allowed to see it.

My psychological test has been re-written, and the psychologist is no longer working at the mental health center....

This is not Dick's doing, he wouldn't have been able to manage it all. It came from either Dick's attorney, trying to protect herself, because all she has done is lie for Dick in that court room, keeping him from saying anything, she will testify for him while questioning me on the stand. The lies have been simple to prove, for instance, he is paid up for his child support to where we were married for less than 12 years (13 or more years is necessary for spousal support) when were actually married for 15. All of the lies to protect him, but I'm sure could actually get her in hot water.

She is powerful in the county, she was raised here, knows a lot of folks, and I believe an N personality herself.

I could be wrong, but there's a lot of weird stuff going on here, and when I connect the dots, this is what I see.... however, another person may just see something else.

I'm with you, I hope he makes one too many mistakes, and gets caught red handed.

[Between Tears]

Just had my first hang up call! I will be in this house a year come next month, and I just had my first hang up call.

When I couldn't afford to pay my cell phone, I sent D the house number to call if she ever needed me. S has the number, and his girlfriend, and a couple of friends of mine, and that's all.

There was a long pause, then hang up...... I'm almost certain it was D! I hope this is the beginning of her returning home!

[Creed]

I hope you're right. But also remember that the OP will also do this if they know the right number to use. I don't suppose you might be able to try *69 where you live. If it's an unlisted number, won't do you any good, but might be worth a try.

If it IS you're daughter, just hearing your voice may be her reason for hanging up after calling. Not ready just yet to reach out to you, but the comfort from hearing your voice fills a void she no doubt feels.

I just have to warn you that if she passed that number along to your XH (coerced to do), it could very well be TrickBoy or his slimey sidekick. Keep a journal of these calls if you can. They can always be traced if necessary down the road.

And remember, don't react to these calls. No reaction is the best reaction.

[job]

I agree w/Creed...keep a log, date, time, etc. It may not be your daughter at all, but the creep himself. Your daughter is torn between the two of you. She may have given him your number to earn his love and trust.

If it's your daughter, she'll call again very soon and talk to you, but it may not be for a long while. Keep cool and calm when answering the telephone. Do not ask if the person is your daughter...allow her to come to you. She now needs to know she has a safe place to land....and you are her safe haven.

Keep the log as Creed has suggested. It's very important.

[WCW]

All those missing files, do you get copies for your own records now?

He seems to be starting to unravel. Stay strong!

[Between Tears]

I had only the one hang up, and as you all suggested, I too thought maybe she wasn't ready to talk, but needed to hear my voice for some comfort. I'm waiting for her to call again, and maybe she will speak.

I don't think Dick and Jane have time for the hang-ups now, but there was a time, oh back some 7 years ago, Jane was really busy checking out my phone number. That was long ago, and now she has everything she set out for back then..... but again, I could be wrong and will document the calls until we know better.

I did have a chance to read the full letter Dick sent to S. Dick also calls him deceitful, and a liar, over and over again, tells him he is just like his Mother, and doesn't know what the truth is..... can someone say "Parental Alienation"?

Dick also talks about the family S is with receiving their "cut" of HIS money..... but they have learned quick, and now keep their mouths shut.... actually, they have no use for him, and have decided he's not worth wasting any of their time on him.

Dick's final paragraph states that if you lie to me again, or go against my wishes, I will be through supporting you. So, all this letter really is, is an excuse to stop paying him his child support, which he hasn't paid the whole amount of child support in over two years......

He's just a very sick minded man. Dick states S sat around the house all summer doing nothing, just as he said to me about the summer I took care of his Mother.... Dick said S was a jerk to his own Grandfather, although all the kids heard Dick tell his own Father, "Don't you ever swing at me like that again, otherwise I will kill you!"..... But even Dick's statement wouldn't begin to change the direction of his Father's Alzheimers.

The letter is typed, except for his signature, which he signs "Dad".... it's at least 4 inches tall, and barely legible, first D is capital, big and wide with the "a" opened and the final "d" incomplete.... He used to write much smaller, with very dramatic and pointed letters.... just something weird I noticed, but it seemed to say "I'm larger than life, or I'm more powerful than you".... it's just weird.

In a way, I see that he feels untouchable, or above the law, but I also see him unraveling, trying to control everything and anything.... and we all know, what we truly have control of. What happens as he sees he has lost control, or does he already see it, and trying to recapture S but telling him he will loose his support?

I keep hoping he'll just unravel to the point he just melts away, just like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz....

[Between Tears]

Snodderly,

I've been working on your insight about why Dick has gone after my kids and I while leaving his previous family pretty much alone.....

What you said was true, but I had to go back and remember why Dick's previous x (px) didn't have to put up the fight.... oh, she did in the beginning, for her support and medical bills, but then I took over the bill paying, made sure her support was the first thing taken off the top, added an extra (at least $150) and paid the bills when they came in..... Me, I've had to fight for just child support.... Dick didn't have the constant reminder of the payment, it was out and gone along with the rest of the bills.... it was before the state payment centers, so it wasn't taken from his check, so the thorn wasn't in his side, but also, he always had his per diem check that he kept all for himself every month, and was hiding from me.....

Dick didn't have to fight for the once or twice a year he wanted to see the kids, for just after 2 years, he grew tired of grabbing them for Christmas, it was before D was even born. Also, Dick and PW were only married for 4 years.... His the marriage before that, less than a year.... in fact, all his other relationships lasted less than a year prior to his marriage to PW. During that 4 year marriage, he spent more than half of that away from her and her kids, by spending it in Kansas using needing work or better pay as the excuse.... until she said "No more working out of state", and then their marriage was over a year and a half later.

Now, Dick and Jane are coming up on 3 years this month, just after his accident and the death of his Sister in 2006.... however, they spent the first year and a half in two separate states.... She moved to California after Spring Break, 2008. They have kept their financials separate, nothing he owns is in her name, he has no idea of what she makes, she has no idea of what he makes, but he collects half the mortgage from her.... Hey, if it works for them, why question it. Hmmm, maybe part of the reason Dick is becoming unraveled.... Jane isn't as bright as Dick's usual choices, and maybe her saving grace, also, she has someone on the side that fulfills at least her emotional needs, so they just may stick this one out, then again, it may also be part of the reason Dick is unraveling.... Only God knows for sure. Of course, Dick has S and I to vent his anger when he needs to de-pressure.

Once again I digress.... Just some weird random thoughts....

Anyway, in reality, I haven't been the aggressor in court, he has been. Of course, he being the aggressor, has financially prevented me from being the aggressor when the time was needed. But, I have stood my ground, therefore, fighting back... but he's gotten away with everything! It still wonder if it's more a cat and mouse or really one way of him dealing with the pressure of life, and needing someone to blow it up/out on.

Mind you, I'm not trying to disprove your insight, what I am trying to understand is, how could I have done things differently, or better yet, do things differently, so he will drop me and the kids like a hot potato... I've already asked for no child support, and that he turned into proof that I was crazy..... I didn't respond to his last nasty email, just sent it directly to my Attorney, and allowed them to take care of it... I didn't reach out and rip his head off about the letter he sent to S, just brought it to my Attorney, and said here's some more information... I'm lying low, no words to D, I'm waiting on her.... cause I know the day she wants to come back, there will be a major disruption in CA..... Lol XD.. ha ha ha, but by then, I hope to have been sitting in waiting, gathering all the right tools and information to protect the kids and I until D turns 18.

Snodderly, I know your right, it's just a matter of understanding what actions I need to take to from here on in.

Well, I've taken up enough space for today.... better get a move on from here.

[WCW]

The letter is typed, except for his signature, which he signs "Dad".... it's at least 4 inches tall, and barely legible, first D is capital, big and wide with the "a" opened and the final "d" incomplete.... He used to write much smaller, with very dramatic and pointed letters.... just something weird I noticed, but it seemed to say "I'm larger than life, or I'm more powerful than you".... it's just weird.

Maybe Dicky didn't sign that letter?

What's your GAL these days? are you making time for any fun?

I think when you lay low it irritates Dick even more but if there's nothing to fight against it should eventually lesson or go away. Even now, time and patience are your friends.