......my strength is not meant to be used to fight the feelings - to prevent them from being present...my strength is meant to keep me from getting consumed by the feelings, overwhelmed by them. My strength is there to remind me that I am more than what I feel in any given moment.
Still so much work...
Wow, V. This so hit home to me!!!! I have struggled so much off and on with my feelings in my sitch. I know what I need/want to do in my head, but just when I feel like I am really coming out of the tunnel, I seem to have another "emotional cave in" and I get so very discouraged with myself! But, I think you are right. Strength is not in fighting the feelings, but accepting them.......although not being defined by them!
And I wholeheartedly identify with everything you have said about your work suffering. My level of concentration and productivity have really suffered. My boss is supportive, but I also see some frustration there too. He married for the first time at 58 years old (just a couple years ago), so he is not so very understanding of where I am an emotionally......but he does try which I am thankful for.
Hang in there, V!!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
