Now, what is due to ADD is over-directness, tactlessness, combined with often laser-like intuition. Which is why I seldom post to Newcomers. I went back to tenderize (lol) my post a bit more than I had already done, but it was too late.
So, here is the tender version:
Don't worry about H. Neither of you has any hope of coming up with a clear idea of where he is and why because he hasn't even settled. Only a LOT of time will make room for you to come up with some kind of objective history. For now, give H his space and focus on you. Get a book on setting boundaries and work on it. The most important thing for you to do, for yourself and your daughter, is to take care of you right now. You don't need to make any long term decisions today. Give H AND yourself space and time when it comes to the R. For now, your emotional well-being day to day is what you must own and protect. You can't accurately predict or control the future, so focus on the present. Have a good day today.
