sorry you are here...I will just say that a big regret I have is how much time I wasted trying to understand my h's choices back then. As you see by the signature, we are together yet there were still moments I wanted to say "WTH were you thinking?"
but I stopped b/c I don't think the WAS knows or if they do, that can and does change anyhow. Whether it's a MLC or a WAS is also not that important. We lbs'ers think it is b/c we think it's better to have a MLC since we assume there's a higher chance of recon but I have no data about that. And our behavioral paths are the same, we have to GAL and move on and thereby increase the chance of a recon and in the event that no recon takes place...we are better off that much sooner.
Asking unanswerable questions took a lot of energy I could've spent on my GAL activities and would have also improved my behavior around H, since I then blamed him for my own preoccupations with him and our sitch, and again, slowing my own progress...which is not attractive to them either. The more we ask, the more they defend, and the more difficult it is for them to imagine us ever getting past what they've done...and therefore the harder it is for them to imagine us forgiving, moving on, or being together.
Hope this makes sense... Sorry for the hijack Stuck! good luck,
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
