I had to work yesterday so H spend the day with DD. I got home around 5:30 and he ended up staying at our house until we put DD to bed around 9. I'm not sure why he stayed - all he did was watch TV and play online poker.
I wasn't focused on him - I happily played with DD and spent my time with her. We talked a little, but it was all pretty much about her. Thankfully, once again I felt good enough to be friendly to him.
He came back over today. He stopped in this morning and was surprised to see that we didn't go to church (seemed like DD was getting a cold so I decided not to take her). Anyway, he grabbed a check and then went to get stuff to close our pool. I think I'm doing something with a girlfriend tonight to get out of the house - no idea how long he plans to be here.
This is all so weird - I don't contact him and now he really doesn't contact me bc he knows I don't have anything to say, he comes over - does a little around the house (the outside stuff), spends times with our DD and then he's off. What a whacked out world he lives in. He's totally delusional. Who lives life like this?
Anway, I did have a sad moment today. H let DD paint yesterday and needed to soak her clothes in the washer - well he also soaked a pair of his jeans. IDK...it just made me said to pull his jeans out of the washer. When I took his jeans out - I was just holding them - an empty pair of jeans - just reminded me of my empty marriage. I just stood there holding his jeans and felt such a loss. It probably sounds crazy, but it made me miss him.
I'm staying upbeat, but I really wonder...will I ever have my husband back?
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
