Lightbulb is BLAZING NEON now!

[Zoo]

Thanks for stopping by KAW

... but first off ... don't EVER wake up Hubby to have a problem solving discussion ... wait until he has downed an entire pot of coffee and give him an hour to be at the peak of his caffine high! (I think this is a guy thing to help us think straight!)

I knew this all to well...I was half way through telling the problem and instantly knew I screwed up! I tried to back out of it but H's response put me into defense mode and that was all she wrote

I did review the part in the DR book you mentioned...it's funny because it is one of the particular parts that H made a point of pointing out to me when he was reading over my shoulder. The importance of the situation caused totally brain disengagement...db'ing went ffttt.

Next time I would ask, "I have something I would like your input / help on, would you let me know when you have time to sit down and discuss it?"

This is what I have been doing prior to friday...my new approach so to speak. I argued myself out of it though since I was more worried about NOT telling H about it right away.

Follow his lead here, Zoo! He's made it quite clear that a verbal apology didn't work very well when he is that angry and repeated attempts just made it worse ... but he seems to relate to using a "peace" offering to smooth things over. So what kind of "peace" offering do you think he would respond positively to?

Actually, I tried to make a "service" type peace offering a couple of times...he would have none of it When that failed I resorted to trying to approach him via his LL...physical touch. He allowed me that...I think he was jonesing since I hadn't touched him at all since the day before.

Hmmm...I just remembered that at other times when he has been angry he would still want me to touch him. DOH! I think that his telling me this summer that my touch was suddenly "nothing special" and not wanting me to do it then has made me insecure in this area so I am more hesitant to use his LL as a tool.

Another revelation just flashed...H has been speaking to MY LL's!! I have 3...

Words of affirmation: H has told me that he is pretty sure we are going to work out, that he is "in" love with me, that ML is now fantastic, etc

Physical touch: H pulls ME to him in bed, intitiates cuddling and has taken to rubbing my back,stroking and playing with my hair. He also HUGS me as well as kissing me before he leaves the house!

Acts of service: H made ME funnel cake, helped clean the house and started cleaning up the yard etc.

I feel like an idiot!! Why didn't I notice this sooner??? I mean, I was aware of these things and they made me feel good but...aw hell!

Thank you so very, very much KAW!!!

Of course the big lug isn't around for me to express my appreciation too right now

Zoo