Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Kat... thanks for posting! I certainly dont take any for granted now, wow, I was reading on Bobbi's thread how she misses just being able to lean over and kiss her man and that struck a chord with me, as thats one of the first thing I noticed when we reconciled. And I realised that I probably DIDNT kiss him that much before, during the day, all those years I had opportunity. I certainly do now.

And you're right about it not being wasted. Him leaving me 'cured' me of some crippling fears and phobias that had dominated my thinking since I was 17, so I was VERY grateful for that, as I told him this morning. We had a big chat, as he could tell I was 'off' with him the past few days.. I think the resentments just build up in waves, but its not as bad as it sounds and as time goes on, it all feels like a distant memory. He cried and when I asked why, he said partly because he hurt me SO much and for how he treated me and he can never change that and he cant bear to think about it and partly, because he was upset to think back on what happened to him, how he fell apart and became 'mentally frayed' and fragile. He says he does see it as a failure, or like he is useless for having the breakdown.. so we talked that one through too.

We talked about why he didnt phone/see me Nov-March, he said he had conversations only with himself and decided it "wouldnt be right" to see me and he doesnt know why he thought that! As for coming back.. I asked again what made him decide to (and I was thinking of you GAG!).. he said he just started to make decisions about what was best for him and what really made him happy and what he wanted. I asked if anything I had done contributed to him wanting to come back.. he thought for a bit and said, well partly it was because he knew I wanted to give it another go too, that I was there, still wanting that.. I said, how did you know that I was still waiting? He said, he just guessed..well, he wasnt sure, but he thought I was because of how I was being with him (we were in alot of email contact Jan-April and I was always super nice, friendly, warm, accepting and no mention of the woman he was dating !!). So I guess I did that thing Jody said.. loving acceptance and consistency toward the WAS.

Hope this helps anyone reading.. and it helps me to know I can offload here!!