Good day Zoo,

So glad that you have recovered from this weekend's episode...

When you mentioned waking up H to talk, my first thought was of some of Michelle's anecdote in DR about when she would raise a discussion with her H. Zoo, it would be worth a review of that chapter.

So you discover some stuff that didn't work the way you expected it to ... that's OK ... life is a series of learning experiences just like this ... but now with DBing knowledge, you know not to repeat it, but if you want a different response you will need to approach it differently next time and in today's post I see a couple of hints from H as to what might work next time...

... but first off ... don't EVER wake up Hubby to have a problem solving discussion ... wait until he has downed an entire pot of coffee and give him an hour to be at the peak of his caffine high! (I think this is a guy thing to help us think straight!)

OK, on a more serious note, back to the hints...

Quote:

I asked H if he was willing to talk about it yet. He then proceeded to tell me what his intent was regarding it and told me not to worry about it anymore. A short, positive interaction with no snapping or irritability expressed and a solution in place.

The first difference ... I see here is you are asking if he willing to get into a serious discussion at "this" time vs. telling him you need to talk to him at "this" time. Next time I would ask, "I have something I would like your input / help on, would you let me know when you have time to sit down and discuss it?"

Quote:

Forty five minutes later I look up and he is standing there smiling...then proudly hands me a homemade funnel cake!!

Follow his lead here, Zoo! He's made it quite clear that a verbal apology didn't work very well when he is that angry and repeated attempts just made it worse ... but he seems to relate to using a "peace" offering to smooth things over. So what kind of "peace" offering do you think he would respond positively to?

'til later,
KAW