I'm glad that you're venting here and not with your W.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Maybe it's the way she so dismissively said she was fine to sleep on the pull out bed that is what cut pretty deeply. Maybe it's that I wanted her just to sleep in the same bed. Nothing more. Just be there.
In my experience, and I think many of the women here would agree, GENERALLY speaking when a man says he wants to share a bed our brains translate that to mean "He wants $ex". Intellectually we know that that may not be the case in individual circumstances such as the one you describe, but that red warning light is still activated in our brains, because being in bed with a man who is frustrated in this way can escalate into a pretty unpleasant situation for both if the woman (for whatever reason) isn't on the same page. From your descriptions it sounds as though you have had limited physical contact to this point. If that's the case, my woman's brain would be confused about the suggestion to move ahead at warp speed. Please understand that I KNOW that was not your intent, but I'm just trying to translate for you what I think a lot of women would HEAR if that suggestion was made.
It is a positive thing that your W lightly brushed off this situation and didn't start an argument about it.
Are there other ways to initiate lower level physical contact while on vacation? Slow dancing and some wine is a great opportunity to make warm physical contact if you both enjoy those. Great way to put a woman in the mood. Even if she isn't ready to act on her thoughts, this will lower her defenses. Maybe you can ML on the dance floor? Other options could be rubbing her shoulders. If she has a headache, offer to massage her scalp or rub her temples. This is all 4play.
