Thanks mnt_dreams, I am going to take your advise and pick up the DR book again...its been awhile and I really feel stuck right now.
I should be happy and yet, I am not. I am not responding appropriately to his words...and then again, why should I respond at all....its what I have forced myself into for the last 5 months....it will be difficult for me to really believe.
I mean, is he moving here? Is he looking for a job near here? I am almost angry....that now...he is feeling lonely and so is thinking of me. So what happens when he is not lonely?
He called back tonight and we watched the frist half of SNL together...I didn't really have much to say cuz...well, I don't want to really share with him. I am ok on my own...and him adding his presence in a transient way just makes the next few days worse and I'd just rather not keep giving myself a roller coaster. I'm so annoyed.......and angry...and feel not hopeful about us in the long run.
He filed and went thru divorcing me...for no fault of mine. How am I supposed to move on from that? How am I supposed to deal with the fact that he went behind my back and hired a lawyer against me? No warning...no fight...no conversation. I was given no chance or say or time......and I'm pist. I've been lonely every single day. Does that even matter? I have been depressed and there are days that I wonder how I am making it thru the day. He has shattered any sense of trust and safety I have ever felt. How do I myself get over my own anger???
Anyways, thats for the reply and I hope u are doing well mnt_dreams. Have a good weekend.
