Just in reading "Destructive Emotions" (buddhism meets western brain science)...it is very clear that some people take a LOOONG time to recover once destructive emotions are aroused.
Myself, I'm not like that at all...doesn't take much to upset me, but I cool down real quick too...has caused a lot of trouble with CJ as he is NOT LIKE THAT and suffers the aftereffects of negative emotions for a much longer time before returning to normal.
Secondly, these other things he's added to the "negativity" today...about SF (sister's friend???), about your folks...these were things he was no doubt grappling with anyway.
I know that it set CJ and I back a great deal when I shared pretty much everything with everybody....no WAY would I have not told my family and closest friends, but pretty much EVERYONE knew.
Even after we were "piecing" CJ had strong feelings of vulnerability and "exposure" that I had to work to soothe. After one blow up, I promised that our "piecing" would be between us and the fine folks on the bb...hence bomb #3 was more of a private ordeal...but easier to spring back from.
Perhaps your H might like some empathy (I know, I KNOW!!!)...an acknowledgement of how hard it is to face up to all of this, how uncomfortable it can be...
Now if NOTHING else, you'll know better than to ask a question like "Are we back to square one?" WHILE your H is in a mood!!!
