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I have seen this from both sides on that dinner table in my family. If you reconcile, you must support your W above your parents. What I mean is, put her concerns and wishes first. If she does not desire to go to dinner at your parent's home, don't push it simply b/c that is something you wish to do and think everything will be fine. I was that W the second year of my M and my H promised to be by my side and he thought everything would be ok. But what he didn't know was how I was treated when he wasn't paying any attention. It hurt to think that he was such a "mama's boy" that I was put in that position of sucking it up and enduring what I had to.

Then many years later, I was the parent. So, I know how badly it hurts to have an adult child who has been cheated on by their S. Don't expect your mom to be thrilled at you reconcilling with your W. Your mom is not in love with her, like you are. It is often harder to forgive those who hurt our childdren then those who hurt "us". Just don't rush thei R and give it much time to heal before you have any dinner plans.
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Thanks sandi. I was hoping you'd stop by and comment on this. If my W and I do reconcile, I will absolutely support her over my parents, and I won't push anything to quickly. They will eventually have to deal with the situation. I think when they would see our kids so elated at mommy and daddy being back together, that will melt their hearts a bit!