Lightbulb is BLAZING NEON now!

[Zoo]

Hi Shiny

Yes, I know better then to wake H up like that but I honestly felt that the problem was too important to let wait. I was more worried that if I DIDN't tell H about it right away I would be going through what I am now. So much for thinking I guess.

I tried acting "as if"...I got cut off at the knees. H gave me a dirty look and went in the bedroom and pulled the covers back over his head. Still am trying to act "as if"...he's shut himself up in the bathroom now

I have apologised, I have asked what I could do to expedite us getting over this, I have told him that it hurts that I made him so angry and I have told him that I don't understand why he is holding on to it for so long. I did not do all of this at one time but rather many hours apart...each question. He is still angry.

Yes, I also did a stupid thing and asked if we were basically back to square one again...H said "I don't know".

Somewhere along the line this has gone beyond my just waking him up. Now H says it is an accumulation of things.
My SF "cornered" him at work about the problem, I "aired" dirty laundry, I went behind his back and I hid things from him plus more that he wouldn't even go into.

I don't know where he got any of this at! Yes, I talked to my parents about the problem...SF said maybe H would feel better talking it over with him (they get along really well) you know, a guy thing. I told SF that wouldn't be a good idea, that he would just make matters worse. Apparently my statement didn't sink in.

When H told me about SF cornering him I got upset. I asked parents just what exactly was said. SF said nothing except the problem was talked about and solved.

Now I am at a loss...H is acting like he did back during the "bad times"...but why???

I've spent half the day angry and half the day bereft. My stress levels are climbing which normally doesn't bode well for me. I'm trying every technique I know to keep myself calm...all to no avail.

One tiny positive...H did let me rub his back. I'm probably reaching to call it a positive but it is the only one I can come up with today

Zoo