8 months into it, first post

[EJohn]

I read thru other's posts, and have hope and despair. When I read thru the ones that have some success building, I feel hope, but then I read some have a similar stitch, and it's 3 years later before they R or even talk civil, it's despair.

When I read the ones that talk about how much they just want their spouse to touch them, even in the very slightest way, I feel hope and despair at the same time.

When we were at the class, we sat next to each other, and it almost felt high school (comments made on the video's bad acting), and occasionally, she'd hit my foot with hers, not accidental, but obviously purposeful. There wasn't a pulling away, and she dressed very nice, and was putting on her makeup while we were driving there (time constraint)

I just don't know if she's leading me on, or if she's actually considering what she's doing. I'm torn between being the friend, the person that I've always been, or a person that just pulls away and acts like she doesn't exist.