Detaching is hard. I'm still working on it. Basically, I arrived at a point where I no longer recognized myself. The needy, whining person wasn't who I was when I started the R. At one point I realized that person I'd become was in no way appealing to my W. I came to the conclusion that under all that pain and years of co-dependence was a guy who wouldn't have stood for this c***. I know now that I need that dignity or I won't have much of a life for myself, let alone any possibility of a M.
Don't know if that helps, but I find it easier to detach when I realize that I'm the guy now that my W always wanted. I'm ready for change and commitment and willing to do what I have to do to make myself and her happy. If she's doesn't want me then that's her loss. Someone will.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
