John just has his up and down days like most anyone else. Maybe what his wife did to him has made him a bit less trusting and has stolen some of the dreams of a happily ever after in love.
It takes a certain person or circumstances to be able to forgive an affair and rebuild a strong relationship. I dont know whether anyone could overcome 3 years of betrayal. What do you want?
Many time, those of us who have been betrayed get the opportunity to dig deep down in our thoughts and realize that our spouses were not that great to begin with. I know you say your H is a great father, but how would you rate him as a husband. What do you want in a husband?
I still see that you are one confused person. You are letting him have too much control over your feelings since your posts here still portray a scorned woman and someone who cant let go. Can you think of any other things you can do for yourself that can help you detach from your marital situation - new hobbies or sports, more activities with kids, volunteering, getting out more and trying new things. What do you really want to do for yourself that you wish you had done in the past?
Love does not keep a relationship thriving. Compatibility, chemistry, friendship, effective communication, understanding, acceptance of differences and appreciation for one another in a relationship is what helps to keep the love for one another going. Those are the choices that bring about love - not the simple fact of saying I choose to love someone. What was your part in your marriage and past relationship that prevented a lasting relationship?
Your friend is correct - you are obsessed. You think that you are trapped in a limbo because of your H. When in reality, you have the keys to get yourself out, but you have to first find and choose a door to unlock. Come to a decision as to what you want - reconciliation or divorce. As long as you remain on the fence, you are going to feel miserable, and you will be the one responsible for keeping yourself in limbo.
What do you want that has the best chance of happening?
