#66 Looking for Susnhine...

[AliSuddenly]

Hey M...sorry you feel down today.. there must be something in the air, because I too feel angry.. I have been 'offish' with bf since yesterday, he is very worried and keeps asking me wahts wrong, I say, I dont know. I feel aloof and cross...

How do people get past it? Mine wasnt as dramatic a sitch, he didnt lie, only by not talking to me I guess.. but when I thikn of her and him and how he too now says, she meant nothing (and he had a stark choice last July.. come back to me.. but he chose her instead and we lost nearly another year).. I wonder, what was the point?? But then, somethings dont have answers and they are down to the fact we are only human and humans are flawed. And some are flawed more than others!!! I personally think its down to chemistry and chance.. a one in a billion chance that you meet someone at a time in your life when you dont feel good either about yourself, or in yourself.. and that person touches something. And that isnt necessarily a healthy thing in fact in alot of these cases (and my EA/PA included) its an unhealthy thing. A thing that ends up leaving you feeling worse!

I believe him that she meant nothing and yes it is a waste, but perhaps more so if you dont swallow your hurt and pride and anger and give him a crack of a chance? I've been saying since last year.. just start taking that wall down, take a brick out at least.. but then, if you cant do it, I wouldnt be surprised.

All these questions and musings... why dont you just ASK him? Get your frustration and anger out. Tell him to come round and explain it to you. Why not? You are holding all the power is the way I see it, maybe he would surprise you this time and actually answer. He has been honest in the past few weeks I think.

Ok.. well back to the sofa and bf for me and my silent grumbling in my head..

love al xxx