Quote: My changes, which include letting go of control, dropping sarcasm and yelling and nagging from my bag of verbal abuse, (I'd like to think that bag is empty now...) validating what CJ is feeling, becoming a more relaxed and less anxious person are pretty much all in the realm of deep personal growth.
I think ( ) that most of my DB changes are like Shiny's...mainly in the area of internal personal growth. Some (most?) of them came pre-bomb...during the period when I "knew" that h was involved in an a but didn't have concrete proof. I just found myself finally able to let the little things go...no longer carry around that undercurrent of anger, etc.
Quote: I WILL say, however, that while the changes in me were occurring, there were times when CJ caught the discrepency between my DB words (sure, go out to the bar without me ) and my true feelings.
Yah...ditto this for me, too...I think that h is still testing whether or not the changes are real (that's ok...I know I"m gonna pass that test)...in the last couple of weeks he's questioned some of my more giving acts ("I just don't want you to say it's ok and be mad about it inside"). I'm fine with continuing to show him it's for real...proves it to me, too!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
) that most of my DB changes are like Shiny's...mainly in the area of internal personal growth. Some (most?) of them came pre-bomb...during the period when I "knew" that h was involved in an a but didn't have concrete proof. I just found myself finally able to let the little things go...no longer carry around that undercurrent of anger, etc.
) and my true feelings.