H and I had a pretty good weekend. You would think we'd be ready to strangle each other since we've been cooped up together for so long! We have managed to give each other space and time alone and that helped tremendously.

I did approach H with the statement that I hoped he realized that I needed reassurance regarding our R/M once in awhile and that I had the feeling that he felt I should KNOW things without having to ask. H said that is just it...you should KNOW. I told him that at this point I couldn't know everything...things felt so raw and I still had some worries that I was working through but that it was getting easier for me. H kissed and hugged me then and I changed the subject.

This little exchange told me this...H is WITH ME. For him that alone speaks volumes, more than any words he could tell me. H has been SHOWING me on a pretty continual basis that his feelings for me have returned, that our M is something he wants. I had started wondering last week if perhaps some of his irritability wasn't due to some of his "old" thoughts and feelings resurfacing due to our constantly being around each other. DUMB ME! As soon as H started feeling better he became more affectionate and attentive again...the NEW AND IMPROVED H that I am really liking alot

A puzzling question from H last night really threw me for a loop though. He asked "Am I a good lover for you?" ! H has NEVER voiced any concern on his part in this area...if anything he has always been quite boastful and pretty damn sure of himself. Before, when I would tell him that he "pleased me quite well" he would make statements like "I've been told that before" or "yep, I've never had any complaints...they always come back for more". Yes, those statements hurt me somewhat but I couldn't argue with facts I told him that I yes, he was a good lover but then he asked me WHAT made it so for me??? I gave him my explanation but then a thought dawned on me so I asked if I had somehow made him feel inadequate...H said no, not at all...that sex had vastly improved between us and seemed to be getting better all the time. I didn't pursue the convo too much...didn't really know how to actually. I just told him I loved him then I went to sleep.

I'm wondering if some sense of remorse might be starting to creep in...things have been going really well between us and our R is becoming better then it ever was, is H beginning to realize that he almost threw this all away?

More stuff to ponder

Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi