Summer 2009

[WCW]

Your stories keep my head shaking in disbelief. Those things only happen on TV!

I don't think your D is as far gone as you're thinking. She was scouring your myspace or FB page? Still looking to see what's up with her mom? She is going thru a rebellious teenager stage, try not to take it too personally and let it eat you up and tear you apart.

Chin up!

[Between Tears]

WCW,

And where to you suspect the writers get their stories from??? Some poor sap sucker's real life..... I don't think any of those people have imaginations anymore, just look at some of the movies coming out. Nothing like the "good old days".

You make a valid point, she is checking my "My Space" and possibly my "Facebook" pages.... after all, it would be one way of helping with the homesickness she may be having. Especially the Facebook, cause mine is hooked up to the town, so there's lots of familiar voices spouting out all over that page. Heck, I check hers out just to get a morsal of information about what's going on in her life too.... like today, Dick is buying her the "street bike"..... I pray it's just another empty promise.... Oh please Lord, let it be an empty promise!

As for rebellious teenager, she's no where near the teenager I was, she still would sit in my lap, or wrap her arms around me and hold on.... she's always been my cling-on baby. I guess it could be her way of rebelling.

I guess I'm sort of lucky in a way, for even my 17 year old son hugs me when ever I'm near by, but so do all the kid's friends reach out for a hugs.... it's just expected (yes, by me!) I was the room mother to all of these kids when they were in elementary school, I've known them all since they were snotty nosed kids.

Okay, we'll try the rebellious stage.... but I want her back soon! =0

[Between Tears]

For more good news....

I asked about visitation for D. I was told, you will have to hope D wants to see you after she turns 18.

On top of that, I had this sore on my ankle which blew up, became swollen, difficult for me to walk on.... I got a write up at work for not moving fast enough, and was fired.

Financially, I hadn't caught up from having to pay for school registration, I have no cell phone or satilite, which neither really bothered me, except I miss my texted from my S.

What's next?

[BeingMe]

I am so sorry for all that has happened to you! This place where you live does NOT seem very good for you. Time to move to greener pastures perhaps? Back to your origins, maybe? Let not this town become your prison. Maybe, go to California, get a better job, near to D?

Realize that you have options, you have choices ---- don't allow others to dictate your life. Not even your children, which they do, perhaps unknowingly, but emotionally.

Perhaps your sore ankle is a sign for your being crippled by your surroundings. You lost your job which I am sure you aren't too upset by, since you hated it. Sometimes, we have to find our own happiness, before we can help others, i.e. your S and D. Denying yourself to give to them, is no help at all. And you are denying yourself to the point of poverty. What next? Homelessness? Start thinking about the mother of your children before they find her living under a bridge.

Take care of you.

PS Sorry for the 2x4 --- it's only because I care.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe,

You are right, I do need to take better care of myself.... I am looking for better work, as I was asked yesterday, what is it that I like to do, and I realized then I don't have a clue.

I've been in survival mode for a very long time, as just trying to survive is all I am capable of. I've been trying to stabilize my life, as if it was possible in this environment. I've learned I can't count on anyone nor anything, and do the best with what I have, which has caused me more problems than it has good.

Whether I was able to keep that job, or not, I'd still be in the same place I am now..... I couldn't afford to live with the job, so I have been looking for other work, but there's not a whole lot to be had, as it is all over the country.

I did stop by the SRS Office to see if they had any jobs, OR could give me some sort of retraining which could lead to better work, and all they wanted to do is put me on SSI/SSD. I don't know, I didn't think I looked that rough.... LOL. I want to work, I'm afraid I loose what little there is left of me, if I didn't.

Where or how to move, I need money for that too, and I have very little of it now.... but I keep trying to think of ways of doing such.

Thanks for the 2x4, I'm working on changing things for the better.

Blessings

[WCW]

Are you eligible for unemployment? was there any warnings, verbal or documented? is there a Department of Labor to file a claim?
If you qualify for SSI/SSD why not apply? You can still earn an income with caps in addition to what you get on the programs.

I think we had the cell phone convo, but do you have a landline too? I made my landline my cell phone to cut costs and not lose the number I've had for 20+ years. Also, most cell companies have mssging from their website to any cell number, and email to cell phone too. Would that help you stay in touch?

Stay positive.

[Between Tears]

WCW,

Warning? Oh, ya, the three people before who held my position walked out in the middle of a shift. The day I started, they had two other people quit. The store has a hard time keeping people.... I worked there three months and there was at least one person who quit or was fired every week. That should have been good enough warning for me.... As it was, I had been looking for a new job anyway.

I did get a verbal warning, because they felt I hadn't been working fast enough, as they cut my hours back to 6.5 hours from 8 hours, and of course added 3 new tasks to my daily load. I really disliked the job, wasn't satisfied, and couldn't wait until I found another job.

I'm not sure if I'll qualify for SSI/SSD, however the lady I had been working with thought I would. I'm just wired differenty, and really think programs like these are for people who really need it.... I still have good days, the only issue with it, is they don't all fall 5 days in a row! I was looking for some quick retraining that would allow me a different sort of job, which I can do.

One thing she did say which I'm still digesting, is that I don't have medical insurance, and this will give me ability to get the care I need in order to become healthy enough to work full time, without the pain I have today.

This made sense to me, as I gather the things I need to finish the paperwork.

We will see what the future has in store for me.

[Between Tears]

Snodderly,

You'd be interested to know, Dick sent S a small check along with a letter, which he signed, which blasted S all over the place. Since Dick can't use me anylonger for his outbursts, he used S. The last email he sent me, was very abusive. I gave it to my attorney, who in turned sent it to Dick's attorney via the court..... Dick won't use me again to unload his garbarge.

Now, this letter, I will also give to my attorney and the school principal, for I see that the best way to stop Dick is to expose him for who he is..... I've tried before, however, came up against a brick wall with the different attorneys, but I believe this is what my attorneys have been waiting for.

Dick is holding S responsible for Dick's Father's present state of aggression, and need for appropriate care. Dick said Jane's S told him all about what S had done to his Grandfather to advance his aggresion, but won't say what S did.... but he certainly condemns him for it.

Dick chastises S for partying, which S is 17. Yes, too young for what the is doing, however, in his defense (or am I justifying) this group of kids always have some sort of adult supervision, and always plan on staying where they are at. They don't hide a thing..... I'm not always sure if this is a good thing or not, but I do know, it's not every weekend, it's probably once every other month or so, they are aware of the down side of what they are doing.

Now, I know what I was doing at 17, only I was sneakinig around, or so I thought. I was much worse than S, and was a lot less responsible, I was just lucky, as it was also a different time in this country.

Dick also justified not buying S the truck he promised him, once again slamming him for who he is (at least in Dick's mind) really ripped him for being something he really isn't.

I also found that the crotch rocket D purchased with her own money was not what she really wanted. What she wanted was a car, and when Dick told her she was going to get the truck, she was going to purchase a quad runner, so she could ride with her boyfriend. Dick talked her into the getting the street bike. One, because he knew how I'd feel about it, but also, it would begin splitting her from her boyfriend.

I realize there is nothing I can do about this, it's their relationship, yet, I hope D wakes up from this very soon, before she learns how to ride that bike. At least Dick won't let her ride it until she learns how to ride a bike, and demands that she learns on a used or old bike....

No, I haven't spoken to her, these are tidbits I picked up while speaking to S. She has begun to text S, but hasn't spoken to anyone else yet. I do hope she is back before Christmas!

[Creed]

I'm so glad that you're having your L go through the courts and then have copies sent to his lawyers.

Not my place , I know..,but this guy is a real 'trick'..just change the first letter of the word.

Your kids are so lucky to have you, you know that? And you're right...they will in time see everything clearly...it will hurt them when they do, but it will also enable them NOT to let him manipulate and degrade them anymore, and they will be able to get out from underneath his toxic spell.

[job]

Well, I'm not surprised to hear that he's blasted your son. Why? Because your son is stronger than your daughter and your xh knows that he cannot hide his true self from him. As for the small check, it's a slap in the face and in his own vindictive way, is saying "see, this is what you get for walking away from me". True "N" behavior.

As for the grandfather's aggression, that comes from the illness, not anything your son did. What a stupid man to even think such things. The grandfather will only get worse in time. They need to be thinking about coughing up the $$$ for a care giver as he's going to be come a handful in the months to come.

Your xh is very jealous of his son. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black! Your son may be a bit young for partying, but there is adult supervision where he's at. We all had our fun at that age and I guess he's forgotten what it was like to be 17.

As for your daughter, she's learning the hard way and she will figure it out as well. She'll be back very soon. Just give her time and space to see what is in front of her. She just needs to take off the rose colored glasses to see her father for what he is. He's not the prince charming that rode in on a white horse to save his daughter. She is figuring it out already. His hand of cards are beginning to reveal who he is.

Please take care of yourself.