The waiting is over

[ACJ]

Thanks for all your good wishes.

To those of you still to face this I'm sorry you find yourself there but do it with dignity.

Mandyloo yes you and I are 'oldtimers' here. In my case D is not only a piece of paper. There was a time until only recently that I wanted my H back but not now, not now there is another baby on the way with OW. That is one insult to far. The only room left in my life for XH is as the father of my own beautiful 3 children. Currently he doesn't see that they will bind us together for ever so I'm letting him carry on behaving like that. He is the one loosing out in the end, not me. If he ever wants anything from me the only thing open to him will be friendship as my children's father. He has hurt me and them way to much to be given the honour of anything else.

I'm sure my XH would call haivng another baby 'fun' right now. But realistically who really wants to be starting again at 44? I may be financially crippled but really I got the better deal.

[naej]

Hi ACJ, I just caught up, you sound to be doing as well as you can be, if not better. Good for you.
One thing caught my eye and thats the new baby. I joined a dating site recently and I am struck by the number of men who have a young/ish child given their age.
As much as my kids are my life no way would I have wanted another in my 40,s, can you imagine going through the teenage years in your mid 50's!! babies are one thing I,d have a dozen but 3 teenage years were enough and mine were angels compared to many I know.
Just sit back and watch it all unfold.

Seeing as these men are on a dating site I just wonder how many had the "late" baby in an attempt to patch up an already rocky marriage----obviously it did not have the desired outcome.
I thik your right you did get the better deal. Good luck.

[ACJ]

Thanks Naej. Good to hear from you again.

I'm planning on having a party in a couple of weeks. It will be a 'life begins at 42.5 party (aka freedom party)'. Who would've thought when i first came here that it would be me that would be celebrating I'm sure XH has done his celebrating too but with a GF who is 7 months pregnant I can't imagine it will have been much of a party (especially when they routinely go to bed at 9pm )

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,

I am sorry that you also didn't get what you were hoping for, just like so many others on here. But I still have to say "Welcome to the First Wife's Club". After a while it does get easier to get used to the fact. I must admit I never thought I would be able to say that.

I don't know how I would have handled the fact that XH will have a child with OW and I am so sorry that you have to go through that.

Good for you that you will have a party. You are still so young and have the whole live in front of you. I am sure that one day you will find another nice man who you can be happy with again.

I wish you all the happiness in the world - you really deserve it. (((HUGS)))

[ACJ]

Well in my newly re-found indomitable style I have booked a venue and sent out invites for a party next week. I'm calling it a 'Life begins at 42.5 (aka freedom) party'. Some may be shocked that I am effectively celebrating my D but it has been a very long 4yrs and I decided I owe myself this much. I conducted myself with grace and dignity throughout and that's what I'm celebrating.

[kat727]

Good for you!! I think it is a wonderful way to put the past behind you and look towards the future. You go girl.

kat

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,

Have a super party. You deserve to have some fun in your life. (((HUGS)))

[Was2sad]

The new attitude sounds wonderful!!

You can't change the past, but you sure can change your future, and what a great way to start doing just that.

Wish we could buy your first drink, so at least know that we are drinking one in your honor.

(((hugs to the new Alison!!!)))

[ACJ]

thanks TL and W2S.

I've been a bit down this week. I think reality is really hitting me but I know it will pass. For my own sanity I have to move forward with my life as quickly as I can now.

[TRUSTING]

I wish so much I could help you celebrate.

Even though it is a bittersweet moment it is still a major accomplishment to get through this with your sanity.

You are correct, you have handled this with nothing more than grace and integrity.

You have also helped so many on this board with your support and wise words.

It is time to have PEACE