After 30 Years!

[Lost Rabbit]

Last night H didnt come back till 8pm and by the time he had his shower and ate it was nearly 9pm. Whilst he was getting dressed he had his laptop on his bed and was obviously reading things, so brought it downstairs ate his dinner whilst looking at it and then continued to chat to someone

Anyway finally he asked me if I wanted a drink and came and sat on my sofa and gave me a cuddle, I asked him on a date next friday and he said he thought that would be nice, so I thought it was maybe time to broach the subject of the funeral but wasnt ready for the rather unpleasant response I got! I asked could we go together to the funeral, didnt ask to go as a married couple or wear wedding rings just go together!

Snap I think thats totally inappropriate people will think we are getting back together and were not its far to early for that! But it was the venom with which it was said which caught me out, teddy throwing boy is still there. I sat up the other way from him as I felt really hurt. How can it be inappropriate to be seen with your wife in public. But apparently it will give people all the wrong messages, people being my parents and a few others but most of the people dont know were not even together..

I honestly cant remember what I said I was a bit shell shocked, but I dont think it was rude, he retreated to the other settee, and I got up and started to go to bed, again in a huff he said I suppose its bedtime then.. He got up and went to his room, he seemed to think I was having a strop but guess who was lol! I tried to explain but got no where, he had gone and hidden behind his rubble pile. (remains of his wall. I said I was concerned that he was looking for something that wasnt there, yes some of me is different, but not of all me, and if he is looking for that getting to know you experience as you would with dating someone new its not going to be like that!

So I went and got ready for bed, but thought final tactic I had some georgous black underwear on and thought why not, so went through his room to get a toilet roll. Sat on his bed and said I didnt want to argue and maybe it wasnt the right time to do this as he had immediately gone and hid behind his rubble pile which I felt he wasnt ready. He admitted he had retreated there. I slipped into his bed and cuddled him and continued to talk, explaining that I felt that L's funeral was not the place to make a statement about us. Think he finally understood me, but he really isnt ready for this.

I asked him to come to the big bed with me, which he smiled and said it was more comfy, his stomach kept rumbling and he laughed that I hadnt even bought desert, so I said I'd give him desert, started to caress him but he said it was late, so I quietly carried on, and it didnt take too long to get his attention. Without tmi, I did try some new things, one because I wanted to and again I wanted to show that a lot of things are different..

He was going to stay tonight but I have gone in his room and every thing has gone, he kissed me goodbye at 4am this morning and said he might pop in on the way past but Im not holding my breath..

Perhaps I need to put something in the piecing forum as Im not sure how to deal with all of this..