For the first time in this relationship I'm finally focused on what is important. I finally "get it." I was so noncommittal throughout. She's where she is because of a R where I took while not giving back. I realize what I've missed out on. I've finally felt that deep desire for one person and she disengages. I spent the whole R wishing I could be the single guy yet still somehow hanging on. There was something special about her from the beginning and I never showed that or even tried to figure out what she meant. Now I know. And it may be too late.
What I need is to get back to the core of me. I didn't used to get so upset about being dumped, not by other girls and not by the potential loss of my W. I'm 38, not a kid anymore and I don't want to be one. I want to be a functional man, father and H. If there is a D, I will still want those things. I need to be those things while rediscovering myself. And that's what I'm going to do.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
