Funny how all of us reforming know-it-alls tend to club together here.....
I LOVE english teachers! although I was probably one of those intolerable children, too.
Thinker, I'm wishing you and the Mrs. the very best for this weekend. As the doc says, be willing to tolerate pain for growth.
<begins to twitch>
Hmm, should I tell about the time in 3rd grade when I publically corrected the teacher over the pronunciation of the word 'lichen'? (She made it sound like 'kitchen'.)
Or should I just say, "Hi, my name is Dia and I'm Hermione Granger."
Last edited by Dia; 10/09/0906:14 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I was the math geek who would question and test the teacher on the finer points of a theorem until I thoroughly understood it (Completely confusing the teacher and the rest of the class in the process)
S7 is already getting to be the same way.
Last edited by Thinker; 10/09/0907:15 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Just walked into our bedroom and found a 2 year old valentines day card (from Mrs. Thinker to me) lying on the floor next to my bed. "I love You dearly and I love our family more than I can express" S1 has been wreaking havoc all day, pulling things off of shelves, etc, so I am assuming that this is how it got there. Not sure where it came from, but there it is.
I decided to just leave it there on the floor - see if she says anything.
-----
S5 and S7 are bouncing off the walls in excitement over their "sleepover" - Which in turn is making Mrs. Thinker happy.
She is not showing any real signs of stress over the weekend, but her list of "Must Do before we go away's" is getting longer. (I just finished planting some Mum's for her out front - the latest last minute must do )
Not sure why, but I'm feeling nervous about this weekend. Hopes and Expectations are terrible things.
Last edited by Thinker; 10/09/0907:43 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Just walked into our bedroom and found a 2 year old valentines day card (from Mrs. Thinker to me) lying on the floor next to my bed. "I love You dearly and I love our family more than I can express" S1 has been wreaking havoc all day, pulling things off of shelves, etc, so I am assuming that this is how it got there. Not sure where it came from, but there it is.
I decided to just leave it there on the floor - see if she says anything.
-----
S5 and S7 are bouncing off the walls in excitement over their "sleepover" - Which in turn is making Mrs. Thinker happy.
She is not showing any real signs of stress over the weekend, but her list of "Must Do before we go away's" is getting longer. (I just finished planting some Mum's for her out front - the latest last minute must do )
Not sure why, but I'm feeling nervous about this weekend. Hopes and Expectations are terrible things.
Reminder: Turn off Expectation switch on the way out the door. That needs to be the last "to do" item! Good luck...
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
Thinker, I'm in the same boat with you - leaving from work to drive to Retro tonight. I must admit I feel nervous myself, but what happens happens. Telling myself this is not about hope or expectations anymore - it's about I'm doing everything that I can. I will go through this process, and let it happen.
Just following up to let you know that although I learned some good things at the Retrovaille weekend, from the perspective of the R between me and my W it has so far been an absolute bust.
There was no breakthrough. By Sunday noon we were at an absolute low point, a stalemate, and closer to D than we have been.
The weekend was all about exercises to share emotions - write answers to questions separately, and then exchange notebooks. She didn't answer the questions.
Asked "Describe a feeling that you find hardest to share with your spouse? (ie just talk about a strong emotion, without the causes), she wrote "I don't want to share any feelings with you because you never...and you always..."
Each time I opened up in response to a question, she would bludgen me with subtle snide comments in return. (ie "It's about time you...").
In an emotional section on "Why do I want to keep on living?", She wrote mostly about how unhappy she was (and it's ALL because of me) and then added (in essence) "I see myself just now starting to have a wonderful life and a wonderful future, but I don't see you in it!"
I was ready to walk out a number of times - not because of the intensity of the program, but anger at her.
And when I got angry she would bludgen me with the program: "What was all that talk about forgiveness yesterday and then you are angry today -- see how you always are, you..."
Last night and today I have been more angry than I have ever been - completely irrational at times.
I was so angry last night that I had to get up and go out for a walk (or blow up at her). She followed me and demanded to know where I was going etc. When I didn't want to talk to her, she slammed the door and locked it. I had a key, but the point was when I walked out to cool off and avoid an argument, all the sudden I felt like I had been thrown out of the house. It took me an hour and a half before I could cool down enough to come home rational.
Meanwhile she finished the weekend calm, cool, detached and with an attitude of "What's wrong with you? See- you're all screwed up."
Never get into a land war in Asia, and never get into an emotional fight with an expert emotional victim.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
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