Good job on the validation of her feelings. I am sure she will remember that you were showing some sympathy.
I think she wanted some of them to put on the wall at OM's mansion. He apparently has pictures of his prior 2 wives on the wall. Maybe they are treating them like hunting photos of past conquests.
I think that I may still have some family pictures stored away somewhere. Also, I have no problem with the kids having a picture of their mother in their rooms at my house
I think she wanted some of them to put on the wall at OM's mansion. He apparently has pictures of his prior 2 wives on the wall. Maybe they are treating them like hunting photos of past conquests.
Wow - lesson to myself - I think sometimes I tend to look at everyone's situation based on my experiences with my W, which can be misleading. In your case, I'm not sure I would want any pictures around of her either.
Also, since I am a single dating guy, it would be awkward for a gal I am starting to date to see a picture of my XW on my wall. That might lead them to believe that I am still attached emotionally with my X.
Well this is officially day #1 of the separation. It was weird to open up closet doors, medicine cabinets and dressers and see emptiness, all of her stuff gone. Even now I have to remind myself that I don't need to wait for her to get home to start making dinner.
We have our visitation schedule for the girls in place. I'm not happy that they are being shuttled back and forth between the two of us, but at least they are getting equal time and access and I think that is important for them. I have them on Mon and Tues, my W has them on Wed and Thurs and then we alternate the weekends. They will still be coming home here everyday from school since her apartment is not in the school district and I work from home so I will be here when they arrive. On Wed and Thurs she will pick them up after work, so I get to see them everyday during the week. She will be coming over every morning to pick up our oldest and drive her to the bus stop which is about 1/2 mile away, so she will also get a chance to see them everyday. It is my goal to make this as amicable as possible, and hopefully I am more successful than my goal to save the marriage.
Given all that it is still very weird that she has actually moved out, but I will get used to it.
The closets are the worst!!! Or dare I say were the worst... I remember finding one loop from a leather belt of his, that had dropped on the floor of his closet as he took his clothes... Man that little thing hurt...
BUT..., I ADORE all the space I have now and it HAS been one of the reasons I didnt ask him home during our fake reconcil. I know, I am bad...
Anyway, jokes aside, dont think of this as the end. It could very well be a beginning. It actually is, either way things may go. You sound strong and focused. Love those girls and pamper yourself. You know..., drink a six pack or something like you men do... Keep posting, there is always someone to listen here. Hugs + good thoughts coming your way, K
Thanks K. Funny you should mention the extra space because that was one of the first things I thought about, was I won't have to go digging for any of my clothes anymore with all of this extra space. Not that I have a ton of clothes, but we didn't have a lot of closet space in the first place.
I don't know if I am strong and focused but I am resolved to the fact that I need to make the best of this situation for me and most importantly my two daughters. That means keeping a positive attitude, not talking badly about their mother no matter what she does (at least not in front of them), and maintaining as much stability in their lives as possible.
I know that's a pretty tall order and it may very well require the occasional "six pack" - thanks for the idea :-).
Hi S4H...Just checking up on you. I am sad for you, reading your closets story almost made me cry...but I am also positive that you will endure, survive, and eventually be happy once again.
I know you are not "there" yet ready to think about this, but one day, you will meet a woman who is really right for you and you will have love again. This dark time in your life will not last forever. The effects may last forever, but so will all of the wisdom and knowledge gained. There will be happiness and fun again in your life one day and between now and then, just do anything and everything you have to do to pamper yourself. Take vacations, see old friends, go to church, exercise, go get a massage, buy yourself something you've always wanted....
That was the name of my first thread. The whole Hawaii thing.
I've still got lots of closet space too. And I like it! Bachelor (with kids) freedom is pretty darn good.
Hey DQ - what island did you get married on? The kids and I spent 3 wonder weeks on Kauai in August. Maybe we crossed paths, but we probably cross paths her in the Portland area all the time also.
Hey DQ - good to hear from you. Thanks for checking up on me. Yes it was a bit depressing at first, but honestly when I look back to how I was a year ago, I am SOOOO much better now. I'm not happy my marriage is disolving, but I'm also not all doom and gloom. I don't know what the future will hold for me, but it will be better I know that for sure.
