Haha! I did the play this morning, matinee for school kids, and about to take D9 to art club and another play tonight.
Talked to the L. She wanted to set up the appt. today, but I said unless some action is going to be taken I'd prefer not to meet (ie not waste money). We met about the custody stuff last week, and I can't afford a weekly update for her (at about $200 a pop). I did update her by email about Tues-Wed this week already. She said the judge is out of town so she can't set it for hearing now.
D9 told me this am that dad recently told her in a few months he was going to try to change the schedule (AGAIN!) so he could have every other Friday. Every 2 months he wants to switch the schedule, plus he tells her 2 months before this may even happen! Dad is a f-l-a-k-e imo.
Then D9's friend says their class is doing a project on a book report, was sent home a week or 2 ago. D9 didn't know anything about it. I talked to the teacher this afternoon and it was sent home on a Monday, to X's home. He's done nothing with her and it's due in 9 days. I helped her pick out a book today and told her she's going to have to read about 2 chapters a day to get it done. And I got the book report form from the teacher also. The part to me is if you're not going to share the info with the other parent, then he should do the work with her, but no....
I need to write all this stuff up! Well, the play ends Sunday so that's good. I'll miss the people, but not all the hours!
Your H should not be laying plans for the children without your consent. And telling the children before he's even told you, much less gotten your approvals, is an obvious end-run to cut you out of these decisions. (My ex does the same thing, to build up momentum for her plans before I can react.) If your H sells your children on his "plans" before you have a chance to react, then he's anticipating you will come off as the "bad guy" should you object at that point.
I'll repeat what others have already said: document, document, document. And do not let him get away with bamboozling you. It really s*cks that he not only got your S & DD enrolled into public school, but he did so in a district closer to himself. He is obviously using every means possible to stack the deck in his favor. Please don't go along with any more of his plans unless they are cleared with your L -- the only "peace" between the two of you that he will accept is if you are totally out of the picture with no alimony and no child-support and no children.
And your L is running out of excuses. First, she is out of pocket for all those days and weeks, and now she's saying the judge is not available. If she doesn't schedule an action soon, your H is going to run rough-shod over all of you with impunity. That is one L who needs a fire lit under her (and I thought my L was slow reacting!)
Thanks so much for agreeing with me NC. Karen, I know you want to believe the best in people and it is a really rare quality to find anymore but this L needs to be pushed. I even think she will like you for pushing her. So feel free!! LOL the faster this is nipped in the bud, the better.
So any birthday plans? Is your H going to let you have the kids or did you ask?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks you all!!! Well, I'm kind of thinking I will take an hour or 2 of free time, but I'm going to officially celebrate my birthday with the kids Tues. or Wed. (whenever I next have them) when we have time to make/eat a cake.
The kids and I did chores and homework this am, b/c wasn't able to last night, so did that the last 3 hours, showers, and time to go drop off the kids. D9 did ask for 5 minutes to do some art, and she actually made me a beautiful card. She's a total sweetie! I told her how nice it was to get that today! Thanks everybody for the birthday wishes!!! It means so much you know!!!
X sent me a one line email yesterday something like "i will pick up the kids at noon (at the halfway spot) per our agreement." He probably knows full well it's my birthday after our 24 years together...I didn't even ask him to have the kids today since I have no doubt he would enjoy saying no.
When I dropped them off, he hollered at me to stop the car as I was about to drive off so he could tell me something. I actually stopped the car for a second, but then did like a pantomime of typing an email and mouthed "email me". I haven't gotten anything yet, just checked.
I drove off, and didn't wait. If he wants me to talk to him, then he is going to have to be civil, and not cuss and yell like he did last time he "talked" to me. I realized on the drive home (I did it in 10 minutes rather than the usual 15) and my heart was pounding and I was breathing heavy. I'm scared of him at this point...
I hope you have a very happy birthday today, Karen. You soooo deserve it!
I think this scared feeling you are having will turn to confidence more and more. You are not used to standing up to him and understandably so since he is so verbally abusive and condescending all of the time to you. I'm proud of you for making him stick to emails. You can document those and he knows it, thus making him be civil. WEll done, Karen.
Thanks, Becca!!! I do know I did the right thing so that's good.
An hour or 2 later, I got a phone call and the kids are on the phone to wish me Happy Birthday. D9 had already wished me that and given me a card but forgot she did, so I reminded her b/c she feels bad about stuff like that. S15 did forget, but said it on the phone call. I think X interrogates them about stuff (from what D9 says) to find out what's going on with us, and they must have said they didn't wish me happy birthday, and he had them call me. Actually a nice thing to do.
Thanks everybody for the birthday wishes!!! It means so much you know!!! 