I HURT LIKE HELL when I went thru my sitch. I just developed the self-discipline to stop REACTING from the hurt, and instead learned to EXECUTE MY PLAN.
Yeah, at 2 in the morning? alone in my bathroom, with the fan on and my face buried in a towel to muffle my sobs? I bawled my eyes out. But in front of my wife? Nuh-uh, and it's not how I made my decisions. Puppy
Puppy is dead on here. I was in horrible pain, and most of my fiction writing at that time is filled with women who had fascinations with razors, who were dealing with R problems. I sobbed and sobbed, felt the pain intensely...but I stopped letting H see any of that.
I would get up when he got up in the morning even though it was my summer off, eat breakfast, and read on the couch until he left. After he left, I allowed myself a limited time to cry...I set the timer and wailed for 10-minutes, and then I meditated or got up and got busy. When H was arriving home, I was either gone or on my way out the door.
No one is saying not to feel the hurt, because that's impossible. Just make decisions independent of emotion. What are your boundaries? How will you enforce them? What will you do now?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
