You're misunderstanding me. I'm not questioning the hurt. I'm imploring you to stop REACTING to it, and instead plan ahead of time what you're going to say and how you're going to say it.
I HURT LIKE HELL when I went thru my sitch. I just developed the self-discipline to stop REACTING from the hurt, and instead learned to EXECUTE MY PLAN.
Yeah, at 2 in the morning? alone in my bathroom, with the fan on and my face buried in a towel to muffle my sobs? I bawled my eyes out. But in front of my wife? Nuh-uh, and it's not how I made my decisions.
While it's true that any one (or even two, or three) conversations (reactions), no matter how badly executed, can screw up your DB efforts permanently, it is also true that you can't just simply keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again.
I"m not trying to be mean -- I'm trying to help you, and I'm only describing what I've been seeing.
