I'm just trying to detatch as much as possible because she's divorcing me. I know I'm not responsible for her actions and that I can't control them. I just don't want to be hurt by them anymore. Now that I know the divorce is happening (it's in progress), I don't want to be hurt by the things that are to come...for example, her dating others. If I can get detatched to the point that her dating others will bother me no more than any other woman dating others...well, that's where I want to 'get to'! Can one get detatched to that degree?
You are going to still feel your emotions. It's accepting the brutal reality part. Understand what Adm Stockdale said about who didn't make it in the POW camps - the optimists. The men who had expectations on things which they had no control over.
You can handle it.
"I can see where "confront the most brutal facts of your current reality" is just something you have to do. What choice do you have? I just don't want to hurt any more over this than is normal and expected!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
