SQ. Sorry for the long post. To answer your question...We came from Mar Apr of ILYBNILWY to do MC for 7 weeks June- July. Everything back together and going reasonably well, but she was not working on R. Only me. A good number of the MC sessions ended with result of a good deal of issues she had with me were made up in her head. Taking something so simple and working it into a much bigger problem than it should have ever been. We hit a bump on the road about the EA during MC and she shut it down and said our R would be mediocre at best. Said separation and then D. Moved to her own room.
I do know my role I played in this breakup and have made every effort to change as best I can to be a better me for me and the kids. In September my W commented on how amazing the changes were with me and the kids and I inspired her to be a better mom. She said she was jealous of the kids picking me over her and saying what a wonderful and great time they were having with me every night. Then the wheels came off with an accusation of abusing my D
Once W started school things became crazy. She was acting like a freshman out of HS with new found freedom. The stunt of introducing carpool guy while I was 7000 miles away was sickening.
I started seeing the same behaviors in W as with the EA when she started talking about the school mate. She was mean when she didn’t get to see him. Then sad when she would get back. All kinds of wild ass excuses as to why she was late coming home or forgot to do X and Y for the kids. Basically dropping the ball on just about everything that was for someone else. Always tired. Stopped doing things around the house etc.
For me my GALing has hit a wall. I have to say I am missing that companionship of telling someone how my day went…to confide in etc. That is my wall in GALing. Other than that I am having an amazing time with my kids every day. We are doing things no matter what W is doing on the 2 days a week she is home. We just get the guilt trip and the 1000 questions when we get back or every morning to see what we did the night before. I am trying to do things with the kids that get us all out of the house 2 nights during the school week and once or twice on the weekend .
I am more healthily than I have ever been. Lost 60 lbs. Work out and run daily. Biking, playing baseball and all other sorts of sports with kids. I just do not have much time for me. One of my closest friends is also going through D at the same time. His W and mine are BFF. So a lot of the other friends in the neighborhood are starting to shy away as our situations turn ugly. So there is another element of insanity to my sitch. I guess I have to just concentrate more on trying. I am having a hard time balancing everything right now as it is all so new. I think once I get the timing down I can do all the chores around the house and still work in the kids play time and then mine. I would love to hear how everyone has worked out the time element in their sitch.
My friend said I have become a stay at home mom with a full time job and a new child (W). I know there are a ton of people out there that have to do this and I now have a new appreciation for what they go through daily. I know I will get there soon. I just need some time to muscle my way through this mess and all the while be strong for my kids.
