Young couple in need of help

[sumguy27]

Thanks stuck I need someone to just tell me I can still do this. Everyone around me just told me to just go through with divorce. I told my MIL that I will not divorce my wife. If she wants to do the work then she can do it. Eariler before I did post anything in are argument she had text me she is done with me because I cheated on her. She doesn't want to be with a cheater, loser, and a bum. Then these guys are a bunch of cheaters, losers and bums. I told her that man these guys are 10x worst then me. She text back about 30 mins ago "I don't care if they r 10x worst at least it aint you." I'm done with reacting to her. I was going to write so your a hypocite also? So drained.

[K4D]

You have to get control of your emotions and let it roll off your back. Of course, you are young and I remember those days. But you are going to have to try in this case. Your future with your W will probably depend on it.

Kevin

[Gardener]

she had text me she is done with me because I cheated on her. She doesn't want to be with a cheater, loser, and a bum. Then these guys are a bunch of cheaters, losers and bums. I told her that man these guys are 10x worst then me. She text back about 30 mins ago "I don't care if they r 10x worst at least it aint you."

sum, don't respond to this kind of baiting, man. Don't respond at all!
There's the saying, "if it's a good idea now, it'll still be a good idea in 48 hrs".
Maybe that should apply to text replies, too. Think of your best spot-on response and come here and write it to get it out off your system, off your chest.

But don't respond to baiting.

[MrBond]

Yep she's just baiting you. Purely high school stuff. When you get a text like that, just sit back and shake your head at how childish it all is.

Be the MAN!

[sumguy27]

So I woke up this morning before work I usually check my Myspace page and facebook. She finally canceled her Myspace page. Which is probably a good thing.

I wished I was at the stage last week again and didn't know about this OM. Its getting hard again to detach as I still love her alot. Trying to keep myself busy.

On another note I have started a pen pal with a woman on the other side of the world. Nothing serious just trying to see if it would help me detach. It's worked to a point but I still can't get my wife out of the picture.

[sumguy27]

Man for some reason I'm have this huge urge to call her. Or text her or do anything to get contact with her. I know my eomtions are running strong. I had to post as I haven't had a feeling like this for a long time. I'm trying to fight it and fight it hard. Gosh its so easy to just click away and contact her. Today is a very low day for me. I miss her more then ever. Our past keeps coming up and I haven't forgiven myself for the mistakes. And all the I wish I wouldn't have done what I did is running through my head. Its all hitting me very freaking hard right now.

[TooLateForMe]

Don't. I know how you feel and there's nothing to convince you it's a bad idea. Fight those urges to call because you only want to fill an emotional void.

I'm used to telling my W everything. She doesn't get that anymore and doesn't deserve it. My intimacy and feelings are for people that want them. If your W doesn't IT'S HER LOSS. Realize you have a lot to give but you lose too much by giving it to anyone who doesn't want it.

Phone a friend instead. Anything else.

I know those intense feelings and there's no magic cure. The weird thing is that I had a split before the one I'm going through now. She wanted me back and I went. Those intense feelings don't go away just because she's talking to you or wants you back. You have to deal with them and you're better off doing that on your own.

Just find something else to do.

[sumguy27]

I had to text her about son with his fever. I let her know we are going to urgent care. She asked what his temperture was. And she asked if I was working. Wired I thought all of our conversations was just about the kids. Well I'm here stuck in the waiting room. Told her ill will let her know the results. She normally responds back with just a single letter like "k". But it was "okay" this time. Don't know what it means.

On the other hand my kids have been very ill this year. I feel like I live here in the clinic.

[TooLateForMe]

Try not to read too much into things like that. I've done that and it's meaningless. You get worked up over wording and forget about the bigger picture.

My advice is to do something similar and to keep your communication w/ spouse short. That may seem manipulative but for me it's the opposite. You're less likely to say anything you'll regret, make her feel pressured. It does have the added benefit of making her wonder about you. Be simple and direct and let her know where you stand.

[Gardener]

I agree with MA.

But it was "okay" this time. Don't know what it means.

It means 'okay'.