Puppy..Thanks. I have set boundaries and she has crossed them. I may need some help on making sure I set boudries and not rules. The consequences were separation. So she got what she wanted.
She has wanted to proceed to in house separation as fast as possible. I now know why. It is so then she can do anything she wants. Infidelity can no longer be used as grounds for divorce once in house sep is agreed. In another words she can screw around and have no consequences to her actions. So then since she does not work I get screwed all the way around. I also get to pay for her lawyer, her gas, spending money, clothes, birth control, Dr visits etc. That makes her another child . But I cannot manage this child and her actions but yet I am responsible for her actions. The credit cards, the school bills etc. I am worried about her actions effecting the family..drinking with her meds, drinking and driving etc.
Sorry I had to vent.
So we are now going for separation proceedings. She has told everyone that this is happening at my request. So this has backfired on me big time. She was the villain to all the friends as she wanted to separate and not me. They wanted her to try and fix for the kids sake and stop being selfish. She withdrew from all the friends. Now that I threw down I am being made out to be the villain. B/c I am crazy thinking she is having an affair. She would not jeopardize her schooling for something like that…blah blah blah.
I guess my problem is I hate injustice especially since it is against me. I always thought I would take a bullet for my family…kids and wife. Is taking this crap like taking one for the team? Should I just suck it up and move on? How do you deal with the kid factor? It is all so confusing from any angle. I am just struggling with these thoughts. It is a crisis of my soul and very being because of the kids. I just do not know the answer to these questions.
I feel I could just fall to pieces without seeing my kids on a daily basis. Do I have to detach from them as well? How the hell do you do that to a 5 and 9 year old that are everything in the world to me and me to them? W says they would pick me over her. So she is jealous. How have people come to grips with the limit on time with the kids? I am feeling so sick right now I can puke.
