A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Thank you for the prayers and good wishes, everyone. I get happier as the day progresses.

We've hit a major milestone, but we're not completely out of the woods. The real work has just begun. I've DBed like heck, and it's paid off. But now I have to continue to let him in - and that's scary. DBing is very self-protective. Reconciling is about openness and re-forging bonds. I have no illusions that it will always be easy or enjoyable.

Looking back at the convo, I guess I did throw down today and I'm proud of myself for stating my boundaries so clearly. I'm also proud of myself for communicating the feelings of insecurity. Heck, just being able to name what I was feeling is an improvement over 2 years ago.

@ Lotus and Tristan - good points, both. I have Retro and pre-paid DB Coaching up my sleeve. And yes, I agree that I need to be clear about not tolerating a friendship with OW. It will siphon off emotional attention/bonding from me, and it would always be a crack in the M. I am pretty certain he is using the idea to soften the blow to her, as much for his own comfort (See, I'm not an a$$hole. I said I would be her friend.) as for any possible comfort of hers.

I'm in a strong place, all things considered, so I'm not feeling too chuffed about having to state boundaries in that area. It's gotta be done.