Thank you dday and SS, It helps to hear your point of views because I get a better understanding of what he may be thinking. So, what I need to do, if I'm understanding correctly is take our marriage relationship out of the picture when it comes to any discussion about the A and why it happenend and focus on how very sorry I am, and believe me, words can't ever describe how awful I feel for have let that happen. I'm not an alcoholic by any means, but I've pretty much stopped consumption of any alcohol just because I get really depressed when I do and end up reflecting on what I've done and my reaction scares me.
I think with my Ex, I have to wait until he's ready to talk about it. I can see how he would feel re-assurance if I brought it up and made sure he knew it wasn't to commit. The EA did turn to a PA however, very quickly after we parted ways, so I don't know how much I need to stress that.
Some of the positive things I see are that my ExH was somehow understanding and supportive the whole time we've been apart, which I never expected. He and the OM attended some soccer games and a birthday party for our son and actually conversed with each other. Anytime I pick up our son, I see our family pictures that flash on his computer screen and many of them I am in! My ExH seems to ask my opinion on some important issues (if you'd read any of the other threads, mostly about his sister), and seems to value my input. Since I told him I wanted to reconcile, however, he's really gone cold. Don't hear from him much, like I did prior and we used to have long talks on the phone and those kind of stopped too.
So I keep going day by day and hope for the best...
