This is tough, I know. I'm about 40 days into our seperation with no papers filed yet, but they are printed, we've meet with an attorney, etc...
I did go back to church after 4 years away, ironically we've been having problems for about 4 years. It has helped so much. I consider myself a scientific/liberal christian...sometimes it isn't the message, it is just being there, quiet and meditating.
I am also a control freak. I hate being out of control. That is so tough to deal with.
Here is what I did, and it is working for me...so far.
I decided that I couldn't stop the legal proceedings of divorce. I decided that either way, the best approach was DBing.
If we end up divorced, and right now I am 99% sure we will, I won't have any regrets that I didn't do everything I could. I'm not going to get upset about anything. i will be fair to my W and to myself. She is doing the same.
If we have a chance to try again, then I want to have made real changes in my life. Changes that result in me being a better person. For me it was all about GAL. I'm doing that. It's ticking my wife off too. She is upset that I am doing things she always asked me to do (going out, playing golf, etc..). I wish I would have done those things with her, but the bottom line is....actions speak louder than words. I let my actions speak for me.
This is the toughtest thing I have had to do. please know that these forums have been an incredible outlet for me. I can be weak here, I can be open and honest. It's annonymous.
Use this as your sounding board. I do believe in DBing, even though I am only 40 days into my divorce. I know it will work one way or the other. I hope I stay married, but if not, I will know I did everything I could to stop it.
