Detachment

[tryingtilDorR]

Flipping the switch in my mind (deciding) that I would be OK no matter what.

This is the hardest thing - it was a natural occurrence in my case and not something I was able to force.

I thought I had flipped the switch several times, but I would then find myself feeling more at peace at one point than Ihad previously, making me realize that I was gradually getting to this place and hadn't quite gotten there the 'last' time.

I was able to use the fishbowl technique to get there - when I was away from home a couple weeks back I realized that I have no M to return to when I got home, whereas on previous trips I would look forward to seeing W when I got home but that was now gone. Looking at it from the outside (from another continent essentially) allowed me to flip the switch, because I realized that continuing the M with my W is not the key to a happy life for me. She would need to undergo radical change in her attitude and if she didn't I knew I would be happier without her and that this is no way to live.

Now I care about what my W does and I still hope things will miraculously turn around, but I am doing 'something different' as a result of my detatchment. I am truly viewing her as just a roommate and really treating her that way. I couldn't do it before.

Anyway, this is how things have evolved for me on the detatchmetn front. I wish I could have done it in six weeks like Puppy, but in my case it has been about 8 months (ugh).