I really like this way of looking at it. It's similar to my "you have to get into a place where you can play it as a game" concept.
Puppy
Could you help me out with this? [/quote]
Sure. You have to try to get as dispassionate as possible about your sitch, and look at is as a GAME to be played (and won). Try to see the humor in it occasionally. Think about strategy, and tactics, and evaluate what works and what doesn't. Interject different gambits, and mystique, and again see how they work.
In other words, you view it as a war game, and not as your marriage. Because if you do the latter, it's horrible and gut-wrenching and you get so emotional (at least I do) that you're not effective in doing the things that you have to do.
A doctor or a lawyer gets to (and in fact HAS to) recuse themselves when they're too close to the case personally (say the doctor operating on her own husband). But in DBing, it's as close as it gets! And yet we're still expected to "operate"!!
It's tough, but it does help if you can detach and view it as gamesmanship. Another way I've seen it done is as characters in a play, and/or you give yourself a cloak of a character that you are familiar with and that you admire, and who demonstrates the qualities that are needed at that stage of your DBing. For me, it was Joe Friday, of Dragnet -- you know, "just the facts, ma'am." For a female poster who was looking for such a role model, I suggested the character of Joyce Davenport on the old Hill Street Blues TV series. Tough as nails, but also beautiful and passionate. Was able to not put up with any of Frank Furillo's b.s. while still maintaining a loving and even passionate relationship with him.
