Wife says she wants me to move on

[brknheart]

Hey Brkn, just read your post and know you are a nice guy...probably TOO nice. When you get to the part in the book where it talks about 180s, you will have no problem thinking of a few.
Number one would be start taking care of number one (that's you). You start dictating and regain control of YOUR life. Stop taking orders. SHE HAS PLANS FOR YOU WHEN YOU DIVORCE??? SHE WILL SEE HOW SHE FEELS NEXT WEEK AND WILL LET YOU KNOW???? Sorry I had to raise my voice.....
Brkn, please do yourself a huge favour and stop being so available physically and emotionally. Trust me, it will do you some good and will give her the opportunity to miss you a little. This probably does not sound right to you (and probably will be very difficult) but to me it is crystal clear.
Great job on staying away from saying that you do not want a divorce. She already knows that...
Goog luck Brkn, you may be able to fix this....don't be so
available. She needs to miss you!!!!!

Yes, I know, I am to nice... I really care about her and feel she is not thinking logically. Just a week or two ago she said that if I stayed in the same city, she would have to move away. Now she comes up with the idea of me staying here and renting a friends condo out, she would pay half the rent. This would allow me to stay at the current school I am attending. She even mentioned pushing the divorce back until next semester is over. This made me very confused. I said it would be awkward for me, especially since we would be connected by her friend. I cant stand to think about her dating after the divorce, and she said the same thing about me. This is very hard... The comment she made last night that she feels she has no control over this, that she is broken and feels divorce is the only option, is very disturbing to me. Im on Ch2 of DR, going to try and read the entire book this weekend. So far I like it a lot, I wish she would read it though (I know I shouldnt ask her to). She is suppose to be coming to the house today to pickup some stuff. Im leaning towards not being there when she comes.

Regarding having her miss me, she claims she doesnt miss me at all. For the first two weeks of the separation, she said she didnt miss me at all. I know she feels free right now, she can do anything she wants without wondering I would feel about it. For the first year or two of our marriage, I know that I was very protective and controlling. That changed, since I knew that made her very unhappy. She keeps telling me that she has never been happy and the marriage has been fine for me. There are things I would rather her not do, but the same goes for her to me. Take for instance a motorcycle. I thought about buying one but she is against it. Does it upset me, not really, my marriage and love for her is more important. Is she thinking like that right now, no. I feel like maybe I am crazy for not getting mad at her for what we have been through so far in the separation, but I still love her. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me, but then again it would be odd if I didnt care.

You are right, she needs to miss me. She needs to realize that I am not going to be at the house anymore if we get a divorce. Since we dont have kids, I will most likely never be in her life again. I know some people can become friends with their S after a divorce, but I cant see that being the case for me.

LolaL is right, I need a break from seeing her. How should I tell her this without causing more tension? Should I wait x amount of weeks before seeing her again? Should I call her/txt her? I know, I have to finish reading DR...

edit: I was thinking about txting her and saying I had a good time last night at movie/dinner. Good or bad move?