I'm sorry you feel I'm dodging, not my intent in all, my point was to say that I did the action, but it took both of us to reach that point. I understand that no matter how we got there, I have to see things from my Ex's perspective and I'm trying. There is, however a lot of guesswork on my part since we really don't see each other much, only when we are exchanging our son nor do we talk about what happenend or why. We had one conversation and I told him how sorry I am, and how I realized a lot of things about myself and where we went wrong in our R and I know we can, if he was willing, have a much better M than we did before (with help). I know this because I have a great counselor and because I can see that much of what went wrong was in the interpretation in our communication. We have 2 very different styles and I'm beginning to understand his much better which is half the battle.
I realize it might be too late, but I'm not ready to give up hope even though I feel like he's not ever going to be ready. Basically my Ex has told me that he'd like to see me on my own for a while, not to wait for him (which I think I've said before), and we'll see what the future holds (the things that gives me hope). If those are his wishes, then I've decided to do just that and leave him alone. I still invite him to do things with us, I'm much more upbeat when I do see him, and I keep it light. I think he knows it's his decision if he wants to try again, because I let him know that I would really like to put our family back together again.
It seems some part of him still cares or I don't think he would be so cordial and supportive. We had a great, unconditional friendship with each other and we were able to salvage that the whole time we've been apart. He and our son were always my first priority, and I always made sure he knew that too. I do think he's just sad and cant talk about it yet. I hope we get to that point though.
