Glad you are coming here to express your feelings. And, I'm glad you are not necessarily doing what you are "feeling" but what you know is the right thing to do in the stitch.

I only want to point one thing out about your W. All this stuff she is listing that you or the kids are doing wrong....mostly you, is a bunch of cr@p. It is not the real source of her unhappiness. Every single person could make a mile long list of what their S does that irritates them, but they have to accept that as part of being human and unable to be "perfect" in everything they do. Even if you were able to master each thing she complained about, she would still be unhappy in the MR. It is not what is causing her "real" problem.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!