Leaving the Land of Insanity...

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Bobbi,
How are you doing today? I keep thinking about your sitch. Theres a lot of 'emotion'..not surprising. But isnt it best to proceed with a divorce with a clear head and once the emotion and anger has all died down? I sort of dont understand why you have to push it now, although I can see you want to do SOMETHING.

I was wondering.. can you separate the issues? My ex, the Piscean is still M but been S 5 years. There was alot of anger and infedility he put up with..he gave her lots of chances, but eventually he decided to formally separate (but emotionally, wasnt ready to divorce). What he did though, was separate the finances, completely. He bought her out of the house, closed the joint account and they did formal legal financial separation so neither can come back to the other in the future with a claim on their finances. Then he said, the large part of the divorce is done really in the eyes of the law. It just remains to actually divorce and dissolve the M, which after 5 years, like he said, they hadnt yet taken that final step.

Is that what this waiver is? I think for reasons of practicality and your sanity, you need to separate your bills, finances and KNOW what money you will be receiving every month. Can you pursue this part of it, but leave the part where you dissolve the M perse? It sounds like it is upsetting and frustrating you to MAKE him sign the divorce petition and thats bad for you to have to deal with, seeing as you didnt want the D.

Maybe just continue NOT dealing with him and NOT being his matey buddy wierd 'family wife' and comfort zone. I think pulling back emotionally, not being available or chatting to him anymore would have more effect on him, than forcing him to sign papers but continuing to allow him to spend time in your house. Just a thought !

Thinking of you, Al xxx