Dreams of a New Normal...

[ClingingToHope]

I think my financial dependence really plays into my insecurities and fear. He threw it in my face today. I am trying to have faith that my baby steps will lead to opportunities...I even told him that I think without that tether he would be at a loss, meaning that he gets so much out of that feeling of superiority and control.

I feel much better today after confirming a lot of what I thought about a financial settlement. I'm not going to end up in the poorhouse.

The superiority and control is a big issue. In my case, I think my W has felt I had the control and superior position in our marriage until she started making D threats. That's most likely right. I was a self-centered *ss who had unrealistic expectations about the marriage and treated her like a pop machine, here's a couple of quarters now take off your clothes.

So I don't blame her that we are here. Now, though, she's using the D threat to control my life. The only way things will get back to even in our dealings will be filing for D. Then everything will be on the table.