Well, it wasn't really a full out affair...it was more an EA and as soon as I knew it could get to A, I felt I had to tell my H, I respected him too much to go behind his back, nor would I want that done to me, so I told him about the feelings I was having almost immediately, and he told me I had to stop seeing the OM, I told him that even if I did the emotions would interfere in our M and I didn't know what to do about it. He then left the house. He felt I chose the OM, and I don't feel I did, I really wanted things to work out in my M and I wanted my H to fight for the relationship and he basically just let me go. I'm not saying it's his fault, I am saying it took both of us to get the point we were at. That coupled with a very bad counselor that gave me very bad advice and gave us both bad advice when we had both seen her prior to the EA. Put all that together and it seems we didn't stand a chance.
My ExH has not asked any questions, we seem to be friends and I don't want to push anything. He hasn't even said he defineitly wants to try to reconcile; his actions have seemed to point in that direction, but there doesn't seem to be a reason to get into too much detail yet.
I'm sure he doesn't want to get hurt again... I wish I had some magic something to let him know for sure that what happened could never happen again. I do think we'd both need some good counseling (and I have found one) that could help us out tremendously and we could have a whole new and improved M. The old one wasn't working, but I see things a lot more clearly now.
It sounds like what you experienced might have been a little different..but sounds like you still want to work it out? Does your Ex?
