Oh, I thought I'd pass along something that I have been thinking about of late.
I started to think about the people of Israel as they were led by Moses out of Egypt. I realize the parallels between their attitudes and theirs faults with those of my own, as a LBS. I feel that I too have been wondering around stupidly in the Wilderness until the time that I am truly ready for the Promised Land. I am supposed to be learning how to be someone chosen by God and growing closer to Him. Instead I have whined, complained and back-bitten. I have looked back at my old life with regret, not focusing on the blessings of the "now". Like those who followed Moses, I am an ingrate stuck in the Wilderness until I can learn my lesson, if ever.
The funny thing that I realized all of a sudden is that in this analogy the "bondage" to which I have been freed is my M to my xW! Here I have been mourning the loss of my slavish devotion to what has been proven to be an unequal yoke -- what was I thinking?!?
LOL. I am now picturing my xW as a queen of Egypt, with her OM drowning beneath the Red Sea.
But back to the original matter. I am now working my way out of the wilderness of regret and self-pity, and seeking the Promised Land. It is a difficult journey indeed, but mostly because I made it so. I recognize that I need to work on my attitude, to focus on the positives and to truly put my faith in the Lord. And that is going to take time and a lot of patience.
