Recovering yourself from all this

[25yearsmlc]

Frank I want to remind you of two things from a while ago. : )

1 - I don't care about the reasons...You a warrior or a paper pushing desk jockey? Man or mouse.

2 - F you Jack

Gratis - 3 - Stop telling me about why she is who she is. Start telling us how Frank is becoming Frank.

Ok,

This morning we were at the High School counselors office with D14 to see what we could do to get her homework done in a timely manner and deal with all the other issues. It was mostly a waste of time. The counselor was easily intimidated and would not press any issues. D14 was uncomfortable and STBX was sometimes teary-eyed.

Why was the c "Intimidated" and by whom? What would make her feel that way?

I finally came up with some ideas to help D14 track her time, make sure homework was submitted instead of 'forgotten'.

I placated counselor
"Placated counselor...." what's that mean? If she needs treatment, get it.
Don't you agree? If not, why didn't you say so? If so, what is it you're trying to say now? I don't get it. Sincerely.

and STBX and agreed to a doctors visit to see if she has any hormone / glandular / or other chemical imbalances. STBX says she has been giving her 'supplements' to help her with her depression. Personally I think she's just acting out because she is angry at her mother. I never have any issues with her, she's always happy around me.

Really? D14 wasn't saying something to you in the past 72 hours, crying, about how you've hurt her and she unloaded on stbxw about you, or was angry and said you'd been angry around her or wronged her in some way? I mean I could swear I just read this recently in your posts...but you are saying now that THIS was ALL about her bad r with stbxw?

So yeah, I took the leadership position and calmly found some solutions.

After the meeting STBX and I spoke outside. I took the action items that were needed to get D14 some folders and other stuff to track her homework better. STBX went on to tell me she thinks D14 is depressed because she misses our dog Diamond and of course, she doesn't want us to be divorced. She went on to add that D14 told her that she felt like it was D14's fault that she couldn't fix this.

I didn't say anything. Then STBX starts to cry again. I calmly asked her what's up, what's hurting her. She then told me how she misses Skylar (our beagle). Now, I have never tried to stop her or D14 from taking him whenever they want. He has been on a couple 'overnights' about 2 months ago.

But you are in the family home and they are in a condo. Isn't that part of the life they miss?

So I said this to her "Well why don't you take him sometimes? He loves the attention he gets and it's good for all of us"

She didn't reply. I told her I would take care of the items on my 'to do' list and said goodbye.

D14 came home after school and I had the things she needed to help her with her homework organization. I taled to her briefly about the meeting, mostly to let her know that I think the plan we have is a good one and it'll work out.

In the middle of this convo, she says that she'd feel a lot better if she didn't have to deal with her moms emotional outbursts at the condo. STBX cries a lot, and has a lot of hurt. Then she says that they went to the animal shelter the other day looking for a small dog to keep at the condo.

If d14 spontaneously says these things to you without any prodding, then she's playing both sides of the fence. Though I have no idea what she hopes to gain by it. Maybe a recon? Kids think unrealistically at times...sad


I said 'why would you do that when Skylar would love to spend time with you?' and her response was "I don't know, mom has been whining about how she is so lonely at the condo and she wants a pet". We already have Skylar (beagle) Captain (African Grey bird) and Mischeif (Green Conure Bird).

I do nothing to stop her from having them at her place. I encourage it actually.

They are in a condo...is it really hard to understand their reluctance/concerns when they have no yard? Maybe they wish you'd leave the house and switch places, since there are 2 of them, and you can have an office anywhere. What was the reason you got to keep the house anyhow? I am not suggesting this frankd, just wondering about their thought process. As a L, I would wonder why the mother and child are in the condo and the single man is in the house. D18 is on her own now so she doesn't actually count.

D14 gos on to say that they saw a golden retriever at the shelter whose owner was killed in a bike accident, that they would have loved to adopt, but it couldn't live in a condo - and would I be willing to let it live here.

See above comments....
I also said to D14 that she should take Skylar over to STBX condo so he can get spoiled, rather than get another dog.

I don't know what is going on here.

You really don't know what is going on here? Are you sure? I'm asking.
J-