I think a necessary facet of detachment is the process of disconnecting one's own sense of self-worth and even *basic identity* from the opinions/actions of one's spouse. You can't successfully detach while your self-image is still in any way in their keeping.
It's refusing to let them decide FOR YOU whether or not you're a decent caring, spouse/parent/sexual partner/friend. It's caring about their needs and emotions while simultaneously realizing that you are a perfectly valid (not perfect; valid) human being with or without them, their love, their, cooperation, or their approval.
Great clarification. Thanks.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
