Hello Die I too read letters my H wrote to his ex-OW. I was destroyed inside. I felt like I died and he was the one who strangled the life out of me.
Long story short...ex-OW went and got engaged to a younger richer model and left my H high and dry. They still text every now and then which annoys me, but again, he has to let that run the course and she now lives in another town with her fiance hours away.
You have to let this all play out.
I agree that this is a fog. I think SMcQueen could be right, your H could be done. But here's what I've noticed here....when the MLCer or WAS acts angry when you are nice or civil to them, that's a sure sign of guilt. It took me a bit to catch onto this in my own situation. But my H wanted to fight with me. He wanted me to be the devil to justify what he was doing or wanted to do which was divorce me and ride off into the sunset with his crazy ex-OW. (Criminal record, history of messing with married men, etc.)
But there was a time when I felt EXACTLY as you do now. I thought my H was in love with another woman and she turned out to be a fraud. He's even admitted to me "I would never want to be with a person like her." He admitted and acknowledged I am a better woman than her on every scale. Now, we're "seeing what could happen". And he's admitted flat out that he's waiting to see if my changes are real. He's admitted he understands some of my "crazy" moments were caused by the immense pain I was suffering as he was carrying on with another person and he's apologized for the pain, not his actions....but that's another story I guess.
So please hang on. Work on somethings you've wanted to for you. I for example, had a nasty temper. IC has helped a lot with that. I was very argument prone....as a matter of fact, a very good friend of ours went to dinner with us a few days ago and she noticed my changes....she said "You're not as argh and anymore and don't pounce like you used to over the stupid crap no one cares about." Made me feel good someone else has noticed too. I also play lots of tennis now. Love it. I read and exercise. I do stuff with my three year old and do more with the girls with and without our kids.
At this point, things are calm and nice between H and I. Don't get me wrong. I have my moments still, but the "crazy" is a lot lower to non-existent.
