I would add that, in my experience, detaching is a process rather than an event that occurs in an instant...it is deciding to let go...to stop basing one's moods, sense of self, or self worth on the actions, words, thoughts and feelings of another; it is releasing oneself from that dependency and releasing one's spouse/significant other/child (whomever one is overly attached to) from that unfair responsibility.
After one makes some headway with the letting go part, the acceptance of the responsibility for one's own happiness, sense of self worth, all of that, is the next step of the process and I think it flows naturally from the first step of letting go.
I will also add that this is/was not easy. At least, it was not at all easy for me so I hope people will be kind to themselves as they learn to do this. It is worth the effort as it is incredibly liberating.
I will add that, as Coach put it, it is a practice. To me this means one has to work at it a bit every day to maintain it. This is how one stays a truly independent, healthy, self-reliant individual with something to contribute to the world and another person.
